Inching Along

Consent forms signed, cheeks swabbed, envelopes sealed and sent off. We're slowly inching along. Oh yeah, Aunt Flo has visited... This is the first time in a long time that I haven't been in tears because of it. It's been such a relief to not have to worry about ovulation, and temperature and perfect timing. I didn't have a two week wait. Although I now feel like I have a 7 1/2 week wait until anything really happens.

Tomorrow I make my first payment to the Genetic lab. I am so happy to have people who know what they are doing taking over.

I have my dentist appointment scheduled for next week, and then on Friday I have some pre-op stuff to take care of.

Then hubby and I are off for a mini vacation...so excited. But the day after we get back, I go for the hysteroscopy. I don't think we'll vacation again until after the retrieval and transfer. Hopefully then we can go on a happy vacation with something awesome to look forward to.

Cheeky

Time to swab the cheeks. I received my packet of consent forms, information, cheek swab kits, and payment amounts. In preparation for the P*G*D testing, DH and I had to give blood. They also requested cheek swab samples from our parents to create a family history report. It just clarifies things for them, so we will do what we have to do.

This set-up has an out-of-pocket price tag of $4000. They also give us the option to do an aneuploidy screening test which tests for some of the more common chromosomal problems such as Down Syndrome, trisomy 13 and trisomy 18, and chromosomes X and Y. The accuracy of this test is 90%. I don't know if I mentioned before but the P*G*D testing is 95-98% accurate, which would mean a CVS test at 10 weeks as well. The additional cost for the aneuploidy test is $2000.

Once the lab has gathered all of this information, they are ready for testing. That will occur after egg retrieval and on day 5 (five days after egg retrieval), the results will be ready. This will be on the morning of the transfer. This will cost $3000. Insurance does not cover these costs.

All of this will be nothing but a memory once I'm holding my own baby in my arms. I can't even be stressed about these fees right now. It just means nothing to me.

Only 52 days (I hope) until I start my injections. It seems like forever.

It's a Boy!

So He's here. He was born Wednesday the 19th of March and he's so handsome. It was a long labor, the little guy just didn't want to position himself properly. I spent the whole day at the hospital with my mom, my sister and my brother.

I really thought I would be more upset than happy, as crazy as that sounds, but I was OK. I couldn't let my emotions get the best of me. I have to just be happy for my sister.

But damn, my baby would've been a week and a half old right now.

The hardest thing right now is everyone calling me to congratulate me on becoming an aunt finally. And all I wish for is for people congratulating me on becoming a mother.

I'm not trying to rush my IVF injections, but I almost want to feel that pain right now to remind me that I am on the right track to having my own. Right now I feel like I'm waiting and waiting and in the meantime, babies are being born, other women are getting pregnant and I'm in limbo.

I need some fudge. It probably won't make me feel any better, but I got a great piece of it from my very best friend and I should have some now. So off I go to enjoy putting on some unnecessary weight. I probably should try and lose some since the stress of IVF might pack on a few more pounds...so I've heard.

Diet starts Monday!

Switch...again

Had my new ob-gyn appointment today and it was very disappointing. I just didn't get a warm fuzzy feeling when I walked in the door. I didn't get the warm fuzzies in the waiting room, and I sure as hell did not get them when I went into the exam room.

I don't know, it just was a weird setup, and the exam table/chair was something I've never seen before. It looked old and outdated. It was literally a chair with a high back, and then I guess it folds down for the exam. But it just was weird. I just didn't get a comfortable feeling. I felt like there is way too much technology out there for this office to look so 1970's.

I literally sat there for about 15 minutes waiting for the doctor thinking that it just wasn't right for me. I couldn't see myself coming there often, say if I got pregnant. I couldn't see my DH feeling at all comfortable.

So I quickly got up, told the girls at the front desk that I was having stomach issues (which isn't a lie-I really felt sick to my stomach), and I left very quickly.

I called my friend and asked her when the last time she had gone to that office and she said it was over 10 years. I don't think much has changed in there since then.

No worries though. I wrote a few quick emails to my chiropractor who had told me she would recommend a great ob-gyn, and I even sent a quick email to my genetic counselor who will be getting back to me tomorrow.

Was that bad of me? To get up and leave like that? I guess maybe I wasted their time a little bit, but there were about three other women sitting in those horrible looking chairs waiting for their exam. So I guess I just cut their wait time a little.

I think the girls at the front desk were a little annoyed, but hey, it's my body and I have to be comfortable. Update your damn office. Sorry.

I have to schedule my IVF Teach class closer to when I will start injections, which is May 17th. So I don't have to worry about that just yet.

But first...(anybody a fan of Big Brother? if so then you understood the bold writing)

My sister seems to be in labor...it started this morning. The mucus plug went and she's been having some pain today. Her midwife told her she needs to relax her body and not sit around all day stressing if she's going into labor. She told her to try and take a nap. Sounds easy, but she's had a bad cold lately and she's just ready to give birth now.

I'm just waiting for the phone to ring now. I 'll keep you posted.........

Not much new...

There's not much new to report today. I will finally see my new ob-gyn tomorrow. I'm sure I will like her. She comes highly recommended and I also found out that my best friend used to have her as her ob-gyn years ago before she moved further away. I guess that's a good sign.

I won't have to start my IVF injections until exactly two months from today. I loved how they pulled out a calendar and with the information they got from me, they just gave me a rundown of how the next couple of months will go.

My counselor even told me not to worry about memorizing the calendar and everything I have to do because she'll be letting me know every step of the way. Well, I have pretty much memorized it and I can just tell anyone off the top of my head what I have to do.

My DH can't believe that I've memorized the whole calendar. He doesn't realize that it's all I think about all day long. I am constantly updating my calendar and keeping track of every little detail. I don't know, maybe I've got too much time on my hands until the real important stuff begins.

Now that I've gotten the ball rolling with this, I want it to happen now! I am so damn impatient.

On another note, my sister is due in about 6 days. I know she's gonna be a great mom, I just can't believe that it is so close now. It seems like forever that she's been pregnant.

I'll let you know how my new ob-gyn is tomorrow.

Change

Seems like I'll be changing my ob*gyn again. Actually what happened was...yesterday I had an appointment with a new ob*gyn, one who would be affiliated with a hospital closer to where I live. I waited a month and a half for this appointment only to find out that the doctor would only be at his current office for two more weeks and then would be moving.

It's a good thing I checked with the new place because I found out that he wouldn't be accepting my insurance.

That's ok though, because I had a second ob-gyn on standby. She came highly recommended and as it turns out my best friend used to go to her before she moved further away. I really did want to her instead but since I had made the other appointment first I thought I'd just stay with my first choice. I was sort of skeptical about having a male ob, only because I happen to be more comfortable with female doctors.

I thought I would have to wait forever for an appointment, but I was able to get one for Monday.

So we'll see. There's been lots of change for me this year, from doctors to a whole new outlook on this baby making process.

Step One

Step One...
I guess this can apply to me too. We had to have bloodwork done today for step one of the genetic testing.
Because hubby has a rare form of Thal.assemia, they need to analyze his blood as well as mine, and this will help when they do the P*G*D* test later on. We're taking baby steps...to real baby steps!!

Knitting Needles

These are not exactly the needles I will be using, but aren't these just so much cuter? Just like knitting needles are used to create something beautiful from the heart, so are my injection needles going to be used to help create a beautiful life.


I'm trying to keep a positive outlook about this even though I am scared to death about doing this.


I found a blog, IVFshootemup , which is informative in a way, and then kinda scary too. But I watched a few videos and I feel like these women didn't look like they couldn't handle it. I was waiting for a few of them to scream or make faces because of the pain. But they just did what they had to do and that was that.

And I can assure you...that will be me too! I can do this.

Needles and Bloodwork and Meds...Oh My!

The day was long...

My appointment was at 12 and I was told to come in about 15 minutes earlier to do paperwork. We got there about 40 minutes early and we still ended up waiting more than an hour before we were called. Back and forth we went, from the doctor, to the nurse, to the counselor and to the billing. We were there for about 3 1/2 hours.

Here it is in a nutshell...

• We both have to go back for some more blood work (we both are carriers of Thal.assemia trait-extra testing after IVF)
• Hubby needs semen analysis
• Scheduled a hysteroscopy for the beginning of April (if the hysteroscopy doesn't throw my cycle off schedule I will start IVF meds by the end of May)
• Need to schedule an IVF teach class

There's a million more details that I'm forgetting right now but only because it was so overwhelming. The counselor told me that I shouldn't try to memorize everything I have to do yet. I should only worry about coming in for blood work and my hysteroscopy. The whole schedule could change but that is what I'm looking at for now.

Because of our genetic problem (thal.assemia), we need to make sure that we do an extra test to make sure the baby would only be a carrier of the trait. And because of this, IVF would be the quickest way for us to get better results because there is a 25% chance of the baby getting the disease (cooleys.anemia) and not just being a carrier of the trait.

So much to think about.

I did bring in my desk calendar so that I could write in all of my appointments and the doctor thought it was really funny. He said he had never seen anyone bring in such a big calendar. I told him I need to be prepared and I hoped that it would be big enough to write in all the crazy things that I would have to keep track of.

I guess I am somewhat prepared. I'm just nervous about these injections. I don't think it'll ever get easy. I dread the sight of them.

Well, my Net*flix movies are waiting for me in the living room. I have three to choose from. I'm gonna organize my paperwork and relax on the couch. It's raining and cold out and hubby is working late.

Book Ban

I spent the morning reading from my book, the one that describes in great detail every step I'll have to take if I do IVF. It started out ok. I read about insurance coverage, which I'm not too worried about. Then I got to the prescription part and thought about how I didn't discuss that part with my insurance carrier. We talked about the IVF coverage, but they let me know that the medications will be handled by a separate part of the insurance.

So, I'm trying not to think about that until I make the call.

Then I started reading about all the testing and then I got to the part about the injections. I know that I have mentioned before about how I am not a big fan of needles. Well, I had to put the book down, and then I had to bury it deep into the bottom of my huge pocketbook.

I started getting a panicky feeling in my chest and I don't want to have a panic attack before tomorrow. It's good to know what I'm in for, but I will end up freaking out about it in the doctor's office and I don't want to do that.

I won't have any problem taking time off of work, because from what I'm reading, I will need it. I did go out and buy a nice new desk calendar so that I can keep track of everything, but I think I didn't buy the right one. I think I'll need a whole page for each day and not just half.

Maybe I'll buy a nice journal too, because I'm gonna have to start keeping track of all the insurance paperwork and medications.

Maybe I'm also jumping ahead of myself. I really should wait until I go to the doctor tomorrow and then speak with the counselor.

OK, I'll stop now and I'll leave the book in my pocketbook. I have the questions I need to ask so I won't overload my brain right now. It's jumbled enough as it is.

PS. tomorrow would've been my due date. :(

Anticipation

Two more days until I see the specialist. It looks like I will probably be heading down the IVF road. I never thought I'd say this but I'm strangely excited about the whole thing. I almost feel like some sort of weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I'm putting the hard work in the hands of people who do know what they are doing.

I've been feeling like maybe I'm just doing something wrong. Every month that has gone by with negative results has been such a let down. I know that if I start the IVF I have so much more to think about on a daily basis, but I really feel like I'm not alone in this now.

When I was a little girl I always thought that I would have one baby after another. Coming from a family of five kids I couldn't see myself only having one. Now I pray for at least one. It feels like it's so out of my reach.

I don't know what to expect on Friday but I can't wait. I just want someone to tell me it will happen. It can happen, it's gonna happen.

I've been doing a lot of reading and I know that I will have to become friends with the needle. The needle and I aren't really close. In fact it was only recently that I found myself relaxing enough to give blood without practically fainting. I will do whatever I have to do to conceive and I can't wait. Did I mention I can't wait to go to this appointment of Friday??

I'm taking the day off of work and hubby and I are embarking on a journey that I hope we are ready for. I know I am. I just hope I don't leave this appointment feeling discouraged or scared.

I will post more after the visit.